1984, you came into my life, so cute, so easy to operate. A rectangle with rounded corners, because that’s what Steve wanted, a multi-colored apple with a bite out of it, a keyboard, a mouse! No long strings of gobbledygook to start you up. It was love, it’s been love.
Cut to 2013. What happened?! Yes, your products are still elegant, nice to touch, easy to operate. But, you’ve turned on me.
I did what you told me to do, upgraded my OS. But now, one of my favorite pieces of software doesn’t work anymore. Ok, you’ve got something that might be comparable. Too bad the link to the demo didn’t answer two crucial questions for me. A trek to the Apple Store at Cherry Creek North. Ok, I know. Already we’re talking ATTITUDE. So, I’m playing around with the app when a sales guy asks if I need help--this was after I’ve been there maybe 15 mins.. Yes! I need help. Tell me, is this comparable to my old software. Sure, sure he says. I ask a specific question. Ok, he admits, he doesn’t really know anything about this software, but he’ll get me someone right away who can answer my question. Forty-five minutes pass, yeah, I get it. No one’s coming.
Let’s analyze why no one came. First, I’m not young and pretty--I saw guys in there younger and prettier than me! I can live with that. Second I asked a question that maybe said I know as much, or Heaven forbid, more than you! Ok, ok, I used to teach computer graphic design. Three, are you afraid I might ask some geezer-ette questions? Like you might have to spend a lot of time with me? I saw you looking sideways as you were “talking” to me. Focus, buddy, focus. Also, while my back was turned I heard some guy say, “Does she know anything?” You’d better not have been talking about me!
As I was leaving, I asked one of the “greeters”--what is this Walmart? how I could find out about this software. He said I could wait and talk to one of the people who is knowledgable about it OR I could pay $100.00 to get some kind of training for a year, it had a special name, but I don’t remember it. Hey, I only needed two questions answered. But, it’s an interesting way to make a hundred bucks.
Finally, let’s talk “The Genius’s”. Wearing an Apple t-shirt and white flash drive around your neck doesn’t make you a genius. A genius would’ve figured out that if my questions got answered right away, I might buy some software. Do you think Steve would’ve been unhappy with the service I got? Nah, me neither. I read his biography.
C’mon Tim, slip on a black turtleneck and fix this! Make me fall in love again.
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